feeling dirty ...

a while ago i wrote about an encounter with a bloke who wanted to bareback [obviously i didn't comply - i do have a brain] ... and knew that i shouldn't meet him again ...

well, a few days ago, i was online, and he was local, and looking for fun ... so i thought that if i was safe, it would be ok to meet him ...

we met up, and again he wanted to bareback, which i obviously again declined. it was quite a good encounter in many ways ... but afterwards it was the first time that i'd felt dirty in years ...

these days i don't feel there's anything wrong with good wholesome fun ... but i really shouldn't meet blokes like that !

Josh Hartnett is rubbish in Rain Man

i've been a fan of Josh Hartnett for a quite a while - good to look at, and a decent enough actor ...

so, since he was in London for a stage play version of Rain Man, i thought i'd go and take a look ...

it was obvious from early on that Josh doesn't have much of a talent for stage acting - his delivery was wooden, and timing off ... but i kept up my interest in the hope that i might see more of Josh after the interval ...

the most we saw was a few minutes of him topless - whilst he seemed desperate to arrange a blanket to cover his legs and boxers !

so, don't bother going to see this play if you are looking to feast yourself on Josh's body or acting talents ... however, the bloke playing the Dustin Hoffman character is very good !

great sex !

a few days ago, i'd been chatting online to this guy ... he seemed nice enough, and he sent a great body pic ! we arranged to meet up the next evening ...

the next evening he texted to check that we were definitely meeting ... which we did. he wasn't the best talker, so the walk to my flat was a bit awkward ...

but once in bed, he came alive ! it was one of the best sessions i've had in ages ...

where to buy good lube ?

i used to rely on my previous partner to supply lube, and to be fair he sourced some good quality stuff !

however, i now need to find it myself, and i'm struggling ! i've tried a few of the main high street pharmacies, but they only seem to stock one brand, which i don't rate ...

any suggestions of what brand to get, and where to get it ??

de-cruisifying a gym steam room ...

i've mentioned here before about the fun that i've had in my gym's steam room ...

well, since it came under new management a while ago, they have tried various measures to reduce the amount of cruising that goes on - presumably the management know what goes on ! their latest attempt is to increase significantly the amount of lighting - 1 lightbulb has been replaced by four spotlights !

thankfully this doesn't seemed to have dampened activities - it just means that it's easier to see when other guys are up for action !!

another technique they used the other day, was to just turn it off before closing time - but i'm not sure that really worked either ...

they might as well just give up, and accept that gay boys will do gay things ...

a brief encounter ...

last week i was feeling horny, so used my favourite website to look for some action ...

after a while i discussed meeting up with a bloke who seemed up for some quick action ... his profile suggested he was stocky, but his pics looked good, and he claimed they were recent, so i thought he was probably worth visiting ...

trouble was that he wasn't out, and he was worried about his flatmate coming back! now, i know all about the troubles of being in the closet, and looking for sex, so to some extent i am quite patient with these types ... but i've moved on since then, so i do find it a bit painful ...

anyway, eventually i convinced him that it was worth a go ... so i went over to his place. he was definitely a bit stockier than his pics implied ! but we did have some fun ... and i was out of his place quickly enough that his flatmate never saw me ...

gay divorce ...

the ft had an interesting short article last week about the divorce rates amongst gay couples since the introduction of marriage/partnership ...

finland has a 30% divorce rate, which is damm high considering that it's only a few years since gay weddings started ... whilst it's too early to get a sensible UK rate ...

it does seem to me that gay couples sometimes plunge into the partnership thing a bit too quickly ... i wonder whether it's availability it putting pressure on couples to commit to each other before they are really ready ...

first night with another bloke for a few months ...

i had chatted to this bloke a couple of times ... but we finally agreed to meet up ...

i hadn't really wanted to go on a date, but he suggested meeting for a drink, which seemed reasonable enough ... but ended up being more of a date than i had planned ! he was a lovely guy, and after a couple of beers, we were ready to leave, and i suggested going back to mine ...

after a lovely time together, i asked if he would stay the night ... which was lovely, but it had been so long since i had spent the night with another person in my bed, that i didn't sleep very much !

the next morning we had some more fun, so it was definitely worth asking him to stay ...

bloke with a small dick ...

i had been chatting to this bloke a couple of days before, and we agreed to meet up on saturday afternoon ... but lunchtime came, and i hadn't heard anything from him ...

but i was logged onto my most visted dating website, and saw him online ... so we arranged to meet up shortly afterwards. he was a bit late, but looked good, and seemed keen, so we went back to mine to have some fun ...

he had a good body, and quite a small dick ... but that didn't stop us having fun ... and he was unusual in that he wanted to be jerked off rather than do it himself ...

he seemed like a nice guy, but i haven't heard from him since, so it doesn't look like we'll meet again !

how long can you last in a steam room ?

i've noticed that my local gym's steam room gets rather busy at weekends ... and there's a few guys who seem to spend half the afternoon in the steam room ! not that i'm complaining - it's always nice to have something to look at / play with ...

but i just can't last very long in the steam room - even with a couple of breaks for a cold shower and some drinking water, i usually only manage 3 sessions ... which takes about 15 mins ...

i really don't know how these blokes manage to spend over an hour in and out of the steam !

Mamma Mia film

i went to see the film of Mamma Mia recently, having seen the stage musical some years ago ...

the rumours of terrible singing from the male characters were widespread - but i didn't think that they were that bad ... however the singing from the women wasn't that great - it makes you wonder why they didn't get professional singers for the roles ? however, Julie Walters was fantastic in one of the supporting roles, which made up in part for some of the weaker actors ...

the most cringeworthy part of the film was Colin Firth's character turning out to be gay ! apparently it happens in the stage musical [i can't remember that] ... but it was truely horrific in the film - him getting topless and supposedly going out with one of the locals ... be prepared to cry !

a 2nd time with the rimmer ...

i'd been in contact with the amazing rimmer a few times, but hadn't met up ... but we did eventually manage it the other day ...

this time i went over to his place - a nice enough flat ...

it was good - he really is an awesome rimmer ... but he wanted to try stuff that i didn't really enjoy ... so i don't think that i'll be seeing him again ...

have you had got a stomach bug from rimming ?

a few days ago, i was logged onto gaydar, and a guy who had been a bit rude to me a few weeks before, contacted me - i sometimes wonder whether gay blokes have worse memories than average !

anyway, he seemed a bit more pleasant this time, and was keen to meet up ... and we were up for similar activities, so i agreed ...

he was a bit older than he looked in his pics, but not too much ... and i thought he might be fun, so we headed back to my place ... the 5 minute walk was a bit painful, as he didn't have much conversation ...

when we got indoors he started pulling his clothes off straight away ... but it was definitely worth taking the chance ... he was the first bloke that i've met who seriously enjoyed rimming his partner ! i almost felt guilty getting so much pleasure, so obviously had to return the favour ...

strangely, when walking with him afterwards for a few minutes [we were both going in the same direction - i wasn't seeing him home!], he was incredibly chatty - such a difference from beforehand ...

but, to get to the topic of the post ... about 24 hours later i developed a nasty little stomach bug ... and i'm wondering whether it was just a coincidence, or whether anybody has else got a bug from rimming ?

should i avoid a bloke who has unprotected sex ?

last weekend i was on gaydar looking for some action ... and noticed a bloke who seemed closeby ... and after an exchange of messages, he seemed like a decent enough type ... so i headed over to his place ...

i walk past his block fairly regularly, and didn't realise that it contained such nice flats ... his place was really nicely done out ...

he seemed a nice guy, eager to please, but not with the biggest equipment in the world ! we were having a good time, but i was shocked when he suggested having bareback sex ... maybe i'm just too naive, but no bloke has even mentioned it to me before ! obviously i didn't take him up on his offer.

after it was over, as i was leaving, he asked if he would see me again [strange question to ask in person] ... and i was honest, and said that i wasn't sure. what really puts me off going back for more, is the idea that he could may pick up STDs by having unprotected sex with other men ...

surely this is a good reason to avoid this bloke ?

3rd time with the pole

i had tried to see the polish bloke again, but couldn't make the day we had arranged ... but luckily he was available the next evening ...

again we chatted for ages, which was nice ... but he didn't really seem up for fun ... but eventually i persuaded him to enjoy himself - which he did !

he wants to go on a date next time we meet ... i'm not sure how to tell him without hurting him that i like him as a friend, and for sex, but i'm not really looking for a relationship right now ...

i guess that i'll have to risk the potential loss of a nice guy [and good sex] and tell him ...

another ejaculation in the steam room

it was fairly late the other night in the gym, and there was only 1 other bloke in the steam room ... i'd seen him before checking me out, so i knew he was gay ...

i didn't feel inhibited in showing my excitement ... but he didn't really touch himself, or get excited at all ! he looked quite well endowed, which made up for his other deficiencies ...

so i was a bit surprised, when he started encouraging his member, and came over to my side of the steam room ... he really did have a good body, but his dick didn't really get any bigger - i was more surprised than disappointed ... and from having not shown any excitement, he was suddenly ejaculating on me !

2nd time with the pole

i had tried contact the polish guy a couple of times, without a response ... and was beginning to think that he wasn't interested, but saw him on gaydar, so thought i'd try again ... and he did respond !

i went over to his place again, and this time we chatted for ages before getting down to it ... which was nice ... but i'm a little worried that it's developing into more than what i'm looking for at this stage ...

he really is very fit, and the encounter was good fun ...

ejaculation in the steam room ...

there's often plenty of action in the steam room at my gym ... but i've never seen any of the fun being taken to the logical conclusion ... it either happens in the showers, or off site ...

however, the other day, a couple of blokes were getting it on, with the older bloke sucking on the younger, slimmer bloke's dick - it often seems to be the older blokes who are less cautious in the steam room ...

these 2 blokes had been at it for a few minutes ... when the younger bloke looked like he might be getting ready to shoot ... and he did ! it wasn't the biggest load ever, but it was still quite fun to see it happening in the steam room ...

the only negative was that the bloke who shot his load didn't seem to get much pleasure from it ... not sure if he is nominally straight, or attached, or something ... but he definitely didn't seem that happy about it !

first fun at my flat in 4 years ...

i've always preferred to visit blokes at their places ... sometimes for practical reasons of privacy, otherwise, just because i felt it was safer - i've always been a bit worried about whether a bloke would try and trash my place, or steal my stuff ... whereas, at least if a bloke went mental at his place, then i'd just have to get out !

well, the other day, i was eyeing up this bloke in the showers at the gym - he seemed interested, and had a nice looking dick ... so i met him outside ... where it turned out that he shared with others, and since i had my place to myself, it seemed only right to go back to mine !

i'm not sure if it was me being worried about having somebody back to my flat, or whether it just wasn't such a good session ... but i definitely didn't enjoy myself as much as sometimes ... but still, it wasn't bad !

he seemed to be really into me, which was nice, but i don't think that i'll have a repeat performance with him if by any chance he suggests it ...

quickie with a doctor ...

it was late ... i should have already logged off gaydar ... but a guy showed up online who was closeby ... so i thought that i might as well go and see what he looked like - he was a bit older than i normally go for, but he looked like he had a good body, so i thought it was worth a trip ...

in the flesh he looked similar to his photos, but was a bit more camp than i expected ... but he seemed nice, so we went back to his place - which was quite a cool/funky flat ! it didn't take long for us to get it on ... and he turned out to be seriously impressive at pleasuring his partner ...

it was a great, if slightly short, session ... maybe i should try slightly older guys more often !

do straight guys wear nipple bars ?

i noticed a bloke in my office has a nipple bar - i could see it when he leant back and his white shirt stretched over his chest ! i don't have the best gay radar, so couldn't tell if he is gay ... but presumably nipple bars aren't big in the straight world ?

bumping into a friend straight after an encounter !

what should i do if i bump into a friend straight after an encounter as i'm coming out of a guy's flat ?

it was 1am, and it would have been obvious what i'd been up to ... so i just froze, and luckily he walked past without seeing me ! i couldn't believe the freakish chance of that happening ... hopefully it won't happen again, but i need a strategy if it does ...

a lot of my straight friends wouldn't be that comfortable with the idea that gay blokes have encounters like i do ... and some of them could be quite jealous of it ... so i really don't want to let them know ... but maybe there's no alternative - claiming to be "visiting a friend" might work sometimes, but if the real friend knows you well, it's a long shot !

any suggestions ?

my first pole

considering the number of polish guys in london, in the past i'd thought it strange that i'd never met up with a single polish guy throughout all my encounters ...

a couple of days ago, i'd logged into gaydar, and wasn't paying a huge amount of attention to it, as i was checking my emails ... i'm still getting used to gaydar again after a year's break, so it's taken a while to get back into the swing of things !

anyway, a chat window opens with some guy contacting me ... he has a reasonably good profile ... so i respond ... and he seems very interested ... i send a couple of pics ... and he is definitely up for meeting ! it almost seems too quick - most guys want to ask lots of questions ... so i'm a bit wary ... but i head over to his place to see what he's like ...

in the flesh he's definitely better looking than his photo - and he seems like a really nice guy ... i drink a glass of water that he offers, and we are soon all over each other ... he had a gorgeously smooth body, and we had a great time ... the only downer was that he hadn't washed his dick recently enough - but it wasn't too bad ! he had the lights down low in the bedroom, and some music playing on his computer, which made for a good atmosphere - although when the screensaver timed out, it did become a bit too dark - i like to see who i'm with !

afterwards, we had a bit of a chat, but he had to get up early the next morning, so i didn't stay for too long ... but he seemed really keen to meet up again, and he doesn't live far away ... so maybe he's a potential regular FB !

how to stop your ex finding out your new address ?

i am setting up a post redirection from my ex's place to my new place, but Royal Mail always miss some items, so the question is, how to get hold of my post, without giving my ex my new address ?

i could drop by and collect the errant items, but i don't really want to see him / go to his place ...

i could ask him to send them / give them to a mutual friend, but that sounds a bit over the top ...

or i could give him my new address, and he could forward them ... but i really don't want him to have my new address ...

any suggestions ?

would you join a bloke in a gym shower cubicle ?

the other day in the gym, a bloke was beckoning me to join him in his shower cubicle ... and he seemed really annoyed when i refused !

i enjoy a bit of fun in the steam room, but it's fairly easy to cover up when another bloke enters ... and although it may be obvious what's been going on, there's no incriminating evidence ...

however if i was caught in a shower cubicle with another bloke, there could be no claim to innocence - and i could potentially be kicked out of a gym that i really like !

what do other people think - would you join a bloke in a gym shower cubicle ?

a straight guy in the gym steam room

the steam room in my gym was particularly active the other day ... one bloke was showing off his hard on, and taking an interest in other guys ...

there was another bloke in the steam room who seemed fairly straight ... but the horny bloke got his dick out, working away, without complaint from the straight bloke, so i assumed it was ok ... especially as i could see that the straight bloke was getting hard !

when the show off bloke reached over to encourage the straight bloke's dick, i thought there was going to be a problem ... but the straight bloke didn't object, and after a minute he was reaching over to return the favour! it was then that i noticed the straight bloke was wearing a wedding ring ...

i really felt sorry for the straight bloke - you could see that he want to join in, but you could also see the pain on his face, as he thought he shouldn't ...

foreign gym nudity

one of the reasons that i manage to go to the gym on a vaguely regular basis, is to see fit guys in sports kit, and walking around naked in the changing rooms ... of course there is the always the bonus of any action in the steam room, but just the general nakedness in the changing rooms is worth the trip !

however, i was in South America recently, and went to the local gym hoping to see some of the local hot guys without their kit on ... only to find that they were much more conservative in their nakedness than in the UK. they were going into the shower cubicles with their shorts on, taking their underwear with them, and coming out with it on after having showered - so no public nakedness at all !

i'm not sure if it's a South American catholic conservatism thing, but it was very disappointing !

first encounter in over a year !

it was good to discover that i hadn't lost my online hookup skills in the year since i'd last used them ... i chatted to a guy who seemed very nice, and whose body pics looked really nice too !

we met up at a station near his place, and i wasn't disappointed - maybe a little older than he looked in his photos, but not much ...

after getting an orange juice at a local shop, we headed back to his place ...

he was the first to make body contact, and i responded positively! by the time we got into the lift to go up to his flat, we were all over each other ...

the activities were good - he had a lovely muscular body ... and afterwards we lay together for ages ...

he kept telling me that i was really sweet - which was a really nice complement ...

after some more activites, and some more relaxing, i thought i'd better check the time, as it seemed like we'd been together for well over an hour ... only to discover that it had been 3 hours!

i don't think that i've ever spent so long with an encounter ... and it really was a nice way to get back in the saddle !

alternatives to gaydar

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visit to the clap clinic

after recent revelations, i decided that it was time to take another trip to my local Sexual Health Clinic ...

on my one previous visit, i got rather annoyed by the lecturing attitude of the doctor and a nurse ... i was hoping for a better experience this time ...

thankfully i didn't recognise anybody in the waiting room ... but i noticed a couple of other people did !

it didn't start off well, as i had to wait over an hour from my allotted appointment time ... but the female doctor i saw was much nicer than the male doctor that i got last time ...

between her and the female nurse, they did all the tests ... and this time they didn't do the slightly painful scrape of the urethra - apparently an improved urine test means it's no longer necessary !

just as during my last visit, they really pushed me to have a Hep A vaccine ... but i wasn't keen - slightly worried that future medicals might question why I had been vaccinated against it ...

the nice doctor questioned me about my sexual history, and asked whether i considered myself gay or bisexual - which i thought was a rather strange, non-scientific question ? she also checked whether i was aware that they do an evening clinic specifically for gay men ... which made me wonder whether she was suggesting it as a good cruising opportunity ?

anyway, the results took over a week, and i'd forgotten about them, until a text message arrived ... all clear !

how to get rid of a steam room hog ?

my gym's steam room is being ruined by a bloke who hangs out there for ages and ages ... this bloke is not very high up on the desirability scale, so it just puts the rest of us off !

trouble is, how does one get ride of him ?

he has witnessed activities, so if any of us who are interested in fun, grass on him, then he'll be able to get us back !

any suggestions ?

why not to take back a cheating partner ...

when one finds out that a partner has cheated on you ... after the initial pain subsides ... the possibility of taking them back needs to be considered ...

the main risks to taking them back are:

i) they'll do it again - despite the protestations to the contrary, they may do it again, and all the pain that was caused by the initial infidelity will re-occur ...

ii) the person who was cheated on will always wonder whether the cheater will cheat again - and this will both take up their mental time, and eat away at their positivity ... making the victim a negative / unhappy person ...

iii) the negativity / unhappiness of the person who was cheated on will in turn cause unhappiness for the cheater - the person who had been cheated on won't be a nice person to be around ...

the best time to split up ...

i wondered recently when the ideal time to split up is ?

it's definitely better to do it in spring or summer ... it's a bad enough experience, but you really don't need dark days and early nights to make it even more depressing ... especially if you are moving house as well !

also, splitting up on a friday evening is probably the best time of the week - you've got the whole weekend to suffer the shock, so hopefully by monday morning you'll be in a vaguely fit state for work, without bursting into tears in the office !

22nd London Lesbian & Gay Film Festival - preview

a couple of months ago i went to a preview of the London Lesbian and Gay Film Festival ... the idea was to see clips of some of the films, to give viewers a more informed choice when selecting which films to book ...

i have been to plenty of gay films over the years, and assumed that this would just be something similar ... so i wasn't expecting so much campness, air-kissing, and semi-cruising at the box office ! it did freak me out a little, and i nearly did a runner ... but i managed to survive it ... and was very glad i did, as the preview clips were really good.

in the end i booked about a dozen films, and enjoyed almost all of them ... my favourite was probably Love and Other Disasters - i would definitely recommend going to see it when it goes on general release ...

not meeting new people ...

i suddenly realised the other day that one side-effect of not seeking casual sex through websites, as i used to do on a regular basis, is that i don't regularly meet new people ...

some of the people i met were not really very interesting, but over the years, i met some really different people to my normal crowd, some of whom gave me a very different perspective that i really valued ...

on a more flippant level, i also miss not seeing lots of different houses !

what to do if a guy hits on your boyfriend ?

so what is the etiquette if a guy keeps hitting on your boyfriend ?

a bit of attention is all very well, but after a while it gets a seriously annoying ...

punching the irritant seems a bit excessive, but maybe it's the best option !