just say no (3)

I've written a couple of times before about how uncomfortable it is to say NO after arranging to meet a guy ...

8 years later, and I still don't find it easy !

The other day I arranged for a guy to come over to my place ... and to meet outside my apartment block ...

He turned out to be a lot heavier than his photos, and considerably less attractive !

We chatted for a few minutes whilst standing outside ... before I broke it to him that I wasn't up for it ...

He seemed to take it out, and he headed off ...

beach action

i've had an account on the website squirt for some time ... but I'm not sure that i've ever used it to actually meet a guy - it doesn't feature in my blog labels (up to now) !

i was visiting my parents in the town where i grew up, and since they live on a small street, in a relatively small town, where everybody knows everybody's business ... it's harder to have guys around for fun ...

so i thought i would check out the squirt listings to see what they recommended for places to meet guys ...

i was surprised to find that there is a nudist beach near my home town !

one sunny afternoon i drove over, and was amused to see a german car in the car parking area - good to see that the stereotype is alive and well :)

after a bit of a hike - i arrived on a beautiful, almost deserted beach ... and followed the squirt instructions (turn left for clothed, turn right for nudist) ...

i felt a bit guilty walking into the nudist section without stripping off - but there weren't that many people there (one woman and about a dozen guys) ... and since i was planning on contributing in other ways, i thought i could get away with it !

after a nice walk to the end and back, i spotted a guy at the start of the beach who showed some interest both times i walked past ... so i climbed up a sand dune to where he was camped out ...

there were a few other guys around also showing interest ... but i decided to stay with the first guy.  he was pleasant enough - and we both climaxed ... but i'm not sure how comfortable in his own skin he was.  maybe he was just a bit odd !

i will definitely try the beach again - in the hopes of an even more enjoyable encounter.

Foreign encounter with a sad guy

After almost of week travelling around southeast europe, I finally found a guy that I felt comfortable meeting up with, and who wanted to meet me !

I went over to his place, and we started chatting. He worked for a charity that promoted minority rights - and he worked on promoting LGB rights ...

There was something quite sad about him ... I'm not sure if he was sad that in his home country it's quite hard to be gay (although he told me that it's worse in the neighbouring countries) ... and that he couldn't leave (not being a member of the EU, he can't easily move) ... or maybe he was sad that he didn't have a boyfriend, and was reduced to sexual encounters ... or maybe he was sad that I wasn't more fit !

Anyway, after a good chat, we got down to business ... and sorted each other out.

After I'd left, I asked him (through the app) why we hadn't gone into his bedroom for fun ... and he replied that he never takes guys into his bedroom ... which sounds a bit sad to me !

When arrangements go wrong

I've written before about a local guy that I've met a good few times over the years ...

In the past I've always gone to his place, but we recently arranged for him to come over to mine ... since I don't have to worry so much about making sexual noises in my apartment !

He was going to have a shower and come over ... but before I heard from him again, I decided that since I had a bit of a cold, it's wasn't a good idea to meet up (and it wasn't fair to give it to him) ... so I texted him to let him know that I was calling a raincheck ...

It turned out he had already texted me, and was standing outside my apartment block ... but his text messages hadn't arrived.

This was obviously far from ideal ... and I apologised ... but his reaction was quite surprising.  He accused me of getting a better offer, and said he never wanted to have any contact again.

Considering how many times that we have met over the last few years - I thought he might give me the benefit of the doubt ... especially since it's quite possible that we will bump into each other - he only lives a few streets away ...

Next time I need to cancel - I will make sure that the guy hasn't already left home (I thought he would have told me before he left) ... and I will also make it clear that I'm not ditching him for a better offer !

STD ?

I recently met a guy for an encounter which including him performing quite a bit of rimming ...

Shortly afterwards my ass started to hurt ... and I thought that he had given my an STD ...

Whenever I go for a sexual health check, they always want to know where my partners are from ... presumably because HIV and STDs are more prevalent in certain countries ... This guy was from Russia, and he was married ... so I don't know if that put me at a greater risk ...

After a couple of days of resigning myself to a visit to my local clap clinic ... I started to wonder if it was actually just beard rash !

After a few more days, the discomfort went away - so I'm now convinced that I had beard rash on my ass from a rimmer !

Economy with the truth - busted !

I know I'm not alone in shaving a couple of years off my age on dating apps / profiles !

It gets me below one of the zeros - which people use for filtering potential dates ... So it opens up more options :)

And it really is only a couple of years - and I'm pretty sure I can get away with looking a couple of years younger than my actual age !

The trouble is that when you check into a hotel / hostel ... the reception staff normally take your passport details - including your date of birth ...

And when you see that same receptionist on dating apps shortly afterwards ... your economy with the truth is totally busted !!

Have you been a Master before ?

I posted recently about an encounter where I was asked if I had previously fisted ... they say things come in threes ... well the other day I had another "have you ever" ... this time it was "been a master" ...

Once again, the trouble is that whilst I've had Dom/Sub elements to encounters - I don't think I've ever had a full encounter as a Master !

We did meet up - and he was particularly keen on feet ... Not something that does it for me ... But if he finds it enjoyable - who am I to deprive him ...

Whilst the whole encounter was vaguely enjoyable - I don't think I will be rushing back for more !

Eight things not to do on a date

I wrote recently about seven things not to do on a date ... and to be fair, the guy I went on a date with recently didn't do any of them !

But he did one thing that was pretty annoying ... he kept going on about how cute the waiter was !

I suspect that it was an attempt to signal that he wasn't interested in me physically / sexually ... since we stayed for a few drinks, and conversation was good !

And that's fine - i'm big enough and ugly enough not to expect everybody that I meet to want to jump my bones !  But going on and on about the waiter ... is just tacky.  I'm sure there's a better way to indicate lack of sexual interest.

And to be honest, whilst the waiter did have great eyes (and was a lot hotter than either me or my date) ... he wasn't all that !

seven things not to do on a date

I recently met up with a guy for a drink ... and whilst it wasn't awful, I knew within the first few seconds that it wasn't going to go anywhere.  I thought that it could at least provide some learning points - for me, and maybe others ...

1) if you don't wear glasses in any of your profile pics - don't show up for a date wearing glasses

2) don't use decade old photos in your profile, especially if you don't look anything like them (i wasn't even sure if it was the right guy when he came over to greet me)

3) don't show up late for your date - it's just rude, and starts things off on the wrong foot

4) don't give a limp handshake - use both hands if it helps !

5) don't just have a credit card - if you want to share a round have some cash.  buying the first round lets me easily escape without a 2nd drink - but it would be nice sometimes for the other guy to buy the first round

6) if your date tries to steer conversation away from a subject matter (probably because they're bored with it) - don't keep coming back to it !

7) if your date finishes their drink whilst you're half way through yours - offer to get them another one (to numb the pain of your dull conversation)

8) don't be too surprised if your date isn't rushing to rip your clothes off, if you have failed on the above six points !

have you fisted before ?

What counts as fisting ?

When soemebody asks you have you done it before, what do you say ?

I've played with a lot of asses, but have I actually fisted ... is there a technical definition for how many fingers / thumbs / inches of hand you have got in to qualify for the "fister" badge ?!

After this recent encounter, I'm pretty sure that I qualify for the badge !

He was only a few streets away, but his english wasn't the clearest ... so when he said Flat 2 ... I assumed it was buzzer marked "2nd floor" ... but when I got buzzed in, it wasn't clear what flat he was in ...

Thankfully he had left his door open ... and was on all fours, with his ass ready to be examined ...

It was a very enjoyable experience, and we both produced reasonably sized loads ... but I wouldn't want to spend all my time doing it.

Unfortunately he was a heavy smoker, so kissing wasn't very enjoyable.

very quick session

I was waiting to meet a friend, and browsing the local guys on Grindr ... and since my mate seemed to be a bit late, I took the opportunity to meet a local guy who was up for some quick fun ...

When I arrived he turned out to be better looking than his profile pics - how often does that happen ?!

And had a great body!  He was a bit too bossy for my liking ... but he was so hot that it didn't take me long to cum on his face!

Despite needing to go and meet my mate (who was by now phoning me to find out where I was) ... I kept stimulating the guy until he eventually shot his load !

Thankfully my (straight) friend was understanding when I explained why I was late !!

awesome session with a foreign soldier

One of the vaguely interesting aspects of travelling, is seeing what apps are most popular in different parts of the world !

I was recently in eastern europe, and it turns out that Hornet is where most of the guys hang out.  Thankfully I have a wide selections of apps installed on my phone, so there's usually something for every occasion !!

My first attempt at meeting a guy failed, when just before he was due to come over he said that he needed a bit of money to help with his study ... and whilst it really wasn't a lot of money ... and whilst I don't have a moral objection to people paying for sex ... I was annoyed about how he went about it ... and I haven't yet paid for sex ... so I told him to take a hike.

However the next attempt (in another city) was much more fruitful ...

His english was barely functional, but with the help of Google Translate, we managed to sort out arrangements for him to come to my hotel ...

We started off with a shower together ... and he turned to be the best sexual encounter that I've had in a long time!  I tend to acquire techniques from different encounters ... but he seemed to have acquired them all, and was able to deploy them in rapid order.  He was so good that I wondered whether he was in fact a professional (and I still have a nagging thought) !

He had a beautifully natural body - although he was clearly very strong/fit, he didn't have that overly developed gym bunny / bodybuilder look.  From the photos he had of himself, and from what I could gather from his broken english, I think he was a soldier.

He seemed like a genuinely nice guy, but after a couple of hours he need to leave ... so we both climaxed (he's the 2nd guy I've ever met who gets horniest when rimming) ... and there was no question of payment !

We were due to meet the following night, but he said that a friend had been taken to hospital and he wouldn't be able to come over.  I still see him on Hornet quite a lot - so maybe he is a professional sex worker ?!

another session with the guy who lives nearby

I sometimes meet up with a guy who lives really closeby ... they are usually quite quick sessions ... and sometimes not very memorable - looking at the messages on my phone, I think I failed to blog an encounter back in January !

I met up with him recently ... it was quite pleasant ... but he is slighly paranoid about not making too much noise, so his neighbours won't hear ... which is a bit dull !!

Maybe next time I can persuade him to come over to my place ...

High and Horny / Party and Play

I'm getting really bored of online profiles with H&H / HH (this term seems to have taken over from PnP / chem session) ... why do so many gay guys take drugs !

I'm so clueless about drugs that when a couple of guys I met up with recently started using a pipe - I didn't even know what they were taking !  Asking friends afterwards, it was suggested that they were probably using crystal meths.

It was a strange scenario - one really fit / hot guy ... and an older, rather unattractive guy ... who seemed to be supplying the cocaine and the crystal meths ... no surprise there !

They were really closeby, and it was vaguely enjoyable for a while ... but it felt like a risky encounter ... who know when they might turn crazy, or what sort of unprotected sex they had previously engaged in.

So I left after about 20 minutes ... without even ejaculating !

another session with the short young guy

hard to believe that it was September when I last met up with this guy ... he lives nearby, and I sometimes see him on the way to the tube station ...

he really is a sweet guy ... but as I said before, the sessions are too short for my liking ... and his mouth does taste of nicotine - but at least the rest of him doesn't !