not meeting new people ...

i suddenly realised the other day that one side-effect of not seeking casual sex through websites, as i used to do on a regular basis, is that i don't regularly meet new people ...

some of the people i met were not really very interesting, but over the years, i met some really different people to my normal crowd, some of whom gave me a very different perspective that i really valued ...

on a more flippant level, i also miss not seeing lots of different houses !

what to do if a guy hits on your boyfriend ?

so what is the etiquette if a guy keeps hitting on your boyfriend ?

a bit of attention is all very well, but after a while it gets a seriously annoying ...

punching the irritant seems a bit excessive, but maybe it's the best option !

an almost gay film ...

at the recent London Film Festival there was an unfortunate lack of gay content - but plenty of other interesting films to keep me busy for the 10 days ...

one of those i chose was I Just Didn't Do It which is a Japanese drama around the country's 99.9% conviction rate ... and a guy who is falsely accused of a crime ...

i was intrigued by the relationship between the main character Teppei, and his friend Tatsuo ... there were some very vague suggestions in the film that they were more than just friends ... however it was never cleared up ...

in the fortnight since seeing it, i keep thinking back to the pair ...

definitely my film of the festival !

straight guys debating how gay they are ?

i was at another wedding recently - mostly traditional, but with some modern elements [lesbian bridesmaid, and a gay guy as her "attendant"] ... and i kept hearing the straight men asking each other how gay they were ... maybe they were just unused to being around an openly gay bloke - the attendant !

i have occasionally seen the odd email quiz or website circulated, with a list of questions ... which result in a gayness percentage ... but i've never heard it being discussed by so many blokes ...

i did seem to get eyed up by quite a few guys ... so maybe they weren't as straight as they professed ... or maybe they were just suspicious that i didn't have a bird on my arm !

a place to see some male ass ...

i was walking past my local snooker hall this evening ... and realised that it really is a great place to see some ass ... all those guys bending over, whilst they concentrate on taking their shots ...

i noticed a few guys studiously avoiding the sight of their mate's ass ... very amusing ...

just a thought !

do you have a photo of your partner on your desk ?

i was sitting at a colleague's desk today ... and saw a picture of her [cute] boyfriend ...

and i wondered, how many guys have pictures of their boyfriends on their desks ?

my first gay wedding ...

i didn't really know what to expect from a gay wedding ... i'm not really a fan of straight weddings, so didn't expect a gay one to be much better ...

the location was stunning, which helped ... and having professional organisers probably made it run more smoothly than most ... and it seemed much less gay than i was expecting - there seemed to be just a handful of gay couples amongst the 200-odd guests ...

the music was great, but there wasn't any of the usual hymn singing ... and no references to god !

the table you sit at for the meal makes such a big difference to your enjoyment [or otherwise] of a wedding - and luckily at this one, the people were chatty/interesting/fun ... a great combination ...

afterwards, they avoided the usually cringe-worthy first dance ... and the casino to keep the non-dancers busy was an inspired idea ...

and after all the dancing was done and alcohol consumed ... bacon butties went down a treat !

now the danger is that i will expect all gay weddings to be this good ...

why do some gay couples get married in identical clothes ?

last month's Channel 4 film Clapham Junction reminded me of my dislike at seeing a couple get married in identical suits ... and it made me wonder why people have this sudden loss of good taste [you would never see them walking down the street, or going to a party wearing identical clothes] ? this behaviour is only acceptable for young twins, and even then, only just !

i haven't been to many Civil Partnership ceremonies, so have no idea how widespread this unpleasant behaviour is ... any information on the extent of this problem would be gratefully received !

do all gay relationships end up sexless ?

when i hear people talking about friends in long term gay male relationships, almost all of them seem to be sexless ... which begs the questions:

i) what proportion of gay relationships do end up sexless ?

ii) is it higher for gay male relationships than for straights ?

any information either anecdotal or evidence based would be welcome !

how to say no ?

in the steam room at the gym yesterday, a guy started showing off his erection - we were the only ones there ... but i wasn't interested, so i tried looking away to demonstrate my indifference !

however, that didn't seem to stop him, he kept showing and rubbing his hardon ...

i didn't want to leave for the showers in case he followed me ... so what is the best way to say no ?

social encounter with a prior encounter ...

so what is the etiquette of how to react when you find yourself at a social gathering ... and a guy you previously had an encounter with is there too ? i guess that there are two different scenarios

i) where the sexuality of both persons is known by others present ...
ii) where the sexuality of one or both persons isn't known by others present ...

on a recent occasion when this happened to me - type (i) ... i was able to avoid speaking to him ... however, i think a strategy needs to be devised for future encounters ...

masculine form of affection ?

i really don't like using words such as darling, dear, honey or any of the usual forms of affection used by straight men for the girlfriends ...

so, i'm looking for some help ... can anybody suggest some masculine sounding terms of endearment ??

a guy in his workplace ...

i had been chatting to this guy online ... but he wasn't able to accomm ... so i was about to give up for the night ...

but then he suggested coming round to his workplace ... not something that i'd done before ... so worth giving it a go !

it was a bit different getting through a heavy weight security gate to meet a guy ... but i guess it added to the excitement. the guy was even better than his pics - unbelievably horny, and a really nice guy ... it was only a quick session, but very enjoyable ...

maybe i should start collection sex locations ...

meeting with a guy living in a shared flat ...

when i meet up with a guy, i always check that they have their place to themselves - i'm not really interested in meeting friends and relations when i'm going round for fun !

this time was the same as usual ... however, the difference was that this guy either hadn't understood my question ... or had chosen to be somewhat economical with the truth !

it turned out that it wasn't really a problem ... even when we went to their shared bathroom for a shower together - one of the most enjoyable experiences i've had for a while ... but the tv in the bedroom to drown out our noise, wasn't the best ...

we had a really nice time together, and the guy was lovely - great body, nice personality ... but there seemed to be something missing ... i still can't work out what it was ...

on the walk home, i wondered whether it is time to stop having encounters, and what i really need is a boyfriend ... not sure how long this feeling will last ... i suspect not very !

gay or straight ... is it that clearcut ?

in a recent post Gay Banker complained about the use of the word Gay, to mean pathetic, in programmes such as South Park ... and whilst that doesn't really irritate me, there is another tv programme that seriously winds me up ...

Playing It Straight is a programme where a group of both straight and gay guys have to convince a woman that they are straight, in order to win the prize money ...

what annoys me is the idea that just by their behaviour, anybody's sexuality can be judged ... i know some straight guys who are unbelievably camp ... and similarly some gay guys are as masculine as you get ...

but what annoys me even more is the idea that a guy's sexuality can be classified in such a black and white way - straight or gay. there is such a spectrum of sexuality, from guys who have had a single same sex encounter ... to guys who regularly have sex with both genders ... to guys who are usually with other guys, but occasionally see a woman ...

the idea that you can classify people into such easy boxes is such a simplification of life ... and so offensive to the many guys who aren't on the extreme edge of sexuality !