an almost gay film ...

at the recent London Film Festival there was an unfortunate lack of gay content - but plenty of other interesting films to keep me busy for the 10 days ...

one of those i chose was I Just Didn't Do It which is a Japanese drama around the country's 99.9% conviction rate ... and a guy who is falsely accused of a crime ...

i was intrigued by the relationship between the main character Teppei, and his friend Tatsuo ... there were some very vague suggestions in the film that they were more than just friends ... however it was never cleared up ...

in the fortnight since seeing it, i keep thinking back to the pair ...

definitely my film of the festival !

straight guys debating how gay they are ?

i was at another wedding recently - mostly traditional, but with some modern elements [lesbian bridesmaid, and a gay guy as her "attendant"] ... and i kept hearing the straight men asking each other how gay they were ... maybe they were just unused to being around an openly gay bloke - the attendant !

i have occasionally seen the odd email quiz or website circulated, with a list of questions ... which result in a gayness percentage ... but i've never heard it being discussed by so many blokes ...

i did seem to get eyed up by quite a few guys ... so maybe they weren't as straight as they professed ... or maybe they were just suspicious that i didn't have a bird on my arm !

a place to see some male ass ...

i was walking past my local snooker hall this evening ... and realised that it really is a great place to see some ass ... all those guys bending over, whilst they concentrate on taking their shots ...

i noticed a few guys studiously avoiding the sight of their mate's ass ... very amusing ...

just a thought !

do you have a photo of your partner on your desk ?

i was sitting at a colleague's desk today ... and saw a picture of her [cute] boyfriend ...

and i wondered, how many guys have pictures of their boyfriends on their desks ?

my first gay wedding ...

i didn't really know what to expect from a gay wedding ... i'm not really a fan of straight weddings, so didn't expect a gay one to be much better ...

the location was stunning, which helped ... and having professional organisers probably made it run more smoothly than most ... and it seemed much less gay than i was expecting - there seemed to be just a handful of gay couples amongst the 200-odd guests ...

the music was great, but there wasn't any of the usual hymn singing ... and no references to god !

the table you sit at for the meal makes such a big difference to your enjoyment [or otherwise] of a wedding - and luckily at this one, the people were chatty/interesting/fun ... a great combination ...

afterwards, they avoided the usually cringe-worthy first dance ... and the casino to keep the non-dancers busy was an inspired idea ...

and after all the dancing was done and alcohol consumed ... bacon butties went down a treat !

now the danger is that i will expect all gay weddings to be this good ...

why do some gay couples get married in identical clothes ?

last month's Channel 4 film Clapham Junction reminded me of my dislike at seeing a couple get married in identical suits ... and it made me wonder why people have this sudden loss of good taste [you would never see them walking down the street, or going to a party wearing identical clothes] ? this behaviour is only acceptable for young twins, and even then, only just !

i haven't been to many Civil Partnership ceremonies, so have no idea how widespread this unpleasant behaviour is ... any information on the extent of this problem would be gratefully received !

do all gay relationships end up sexless ?

when i hear people talking about friends in long term gay male relationships, almost all of them seem to be sexless ... which begs the questions:

i) what proportion of gay relationships do end up sexless ?

ii) is it higher for gay male relationships than for straights ?

any information either anecdotal or evidence based would be welcome !

how to say no ?

in the steam room at the gym yesterday, a guy started showing off his erection - we were the only ones there ... but i wasn't interested, so i tried looking away to demonstrate my indifference !

however, that didn't seem to stop him, he kept showing and rubbing his hardon ...

i didn't want to leave for the showers in case he followed me ... so what is the best way to say no ?

social encounter with a prior encounter ...

so what is the etiquette of how to react when you find yourself at a social gathering ... and a guy you previously had an encounter with is there too ? i guess that there are two different scenarios

i) where the sexuality of both persons is known by others present ...
ii) where the sexuality of one or both persons isn't known by others present ...

on a recent occasion when this happened to me - type (i) ... i was able to avoid speaking to him ... however, i think a strategy needs to be devised for future encounters ...

masculine form of affection ?

i really don't like using words such as darling, dear, honey or any of the usual forms of affection used by straight men for the girlfriends ...

so, i'm looking for some help ... can anybody suggest some masculine sounding terms of endearment ??

a guy in his workplace ...

i had been chatting to this guy online ... but he wasn't able to accomm ... so i was about to give up for the night ...

but then he suggested coming round to his workplace ... not something that i'd done before ... so worth giving it a go !

it was a bit different getting through a heavy weight security gate to meet a guy ... but i guess it added to the excitement. the guy was even better than his pics - unbelievably horny, and a really nice guy ... it was only a quick session, but very enjoyable ...

maybe i should start collection sex locations ...

meeting with a guy living in a shared flat ...

when i meet up with a guy, i always check that they have their place to themselves - i'm not really interested in meeting friends and relations when i'm going round for fun !

this time was the same as usual ... however, the difference was that this guy either hadn't understood my question ... or had chosen to be somewhat economical with the truth !

it turned out that it wasn't really a problem ... even when we went to their shared bathroom for a shower together - one of the most enjoyable experiences i've had for a while ... but the tv in the bedroom to drown out our noise, wasn't the best ...

we had a really nice time together, and the guy was lovely - great body, nice personality ... but there seemed to be something missing ... i still can't work out what it was ...

on the walk home, i wondered whether it is time to stop having encounters, and what i really need is a boyfriend ... not sure how long this feeling will last ... i suspect not very !

gay or straight ... is it that clearcut ?

in a recent post Gay Banker complained about the use of the word Gay, to mean pathetic, in programmes such as South Park ... and whilst that doesn't really irritate me, there is another tv programme that seriously winds me up ...

Playing It Straight is a programme where a group of both straight and gay guys have to convince a woman that they are straight, in order to win the prize money ...

what annoys me is the idea that just by their behaviour, anybody's sexuality can be judged ... i know some straight guys who are unbelievably camp ... and similarly some gay guys are as masculine as you get ...

but what annoys me even more is the idea that a guy's sexuality can be classified in such a black and white way - straight or gay. there is such a spectrum of sexuality, from guys who have had a single same sex encounter ... to guys who regularly have sex with both genders ... to guys who are usually with other guys, but occasionally see a woman ...

the idea that you can classify people into such easy boxes is such a simplification of life ... and so offensive to the many guys who aren't on the extreme edge of sexuality !

does gay sex encourage selfishness ...

a friend was recently complaining about one of her gay friends being particularly selfish ... and it made me wonder ... are gay guys on average more selfish that straight guys ?

and that made me wonder whether the act of having sex with the same gender leads to a more selfish attitude compared to having sex with the opposite gender ... that perhaps with gay sex you don't have to be quite as empathetic to have a good time - a guy knows what works for him, and doesn't always have to think about what the other person wants ?

i know that there are many gay guys who are not selfish, and plenty that are just as generous having gay sex than those having straight sex ... but this is averages i'm talking about ...

maybe it's bullshit ... but maybe not ...

telling a friend that i like guys ...

i always assumed that a friend who is always asking about my love life, knew that i liked guys ... she has come close to asking me directly a few times, but i always managed to stop her - at the time i didn't feel ready to tell her, whilst not wanting to lie to her ...

well, it turns out that despite her allegedly good gay radar, it had failed her with me ... and she had no idea that my tastes were anything other than standard ... although perhaps the radar screen was clouded by her previously undeclared interest in me !

but she's a broad minded girl/woman ... and she took it well ... although she is running out of straight male friends ... which maybe says something about her ?

date with an italian guy ...

i first started chatting to this guy more than 6 months ago ... we didn't correspond for a long time ... but started chatting online again a few weeks ago ... we swapped mobile numbers ... and exchanged texts every few days for the past week ...

we finally got to meet for a coffee ... and he seemed like a really nice guy ... we chatted for ages ... and i walked him home ... i wasn't planning on going in, but he thought his flatmate might be asleep, so we risked it ! unfortunately his flatmate wasn't asleep !!

we chatted for a while more ... and i wanted to hold him so badly ... eventually we had a quick fumble ... i felt like a naughty child, about to be caught at any moment !

whilst the fleeting moment was enjoyable ... i'm beginning to regret not waiting until we had more time to enjoy each other ...

just hope that he wants to give it a proper go ... will have to wait and see ...

horny after sex ?

normally when i walk down the street i am reasonably discreet when looking at guys ... and only the really attractive ones get a full examination ...

but i find that immediately after sex, i can't stop myself checking them out ... i seem to be attracted to many more guys than usual ... and i can't help myself, probably quite obviously, giving them a (more than) once over ...

not sure if this is common ? maybe it is something to do with hormones released during sex ??

a really fun time ...

my excuse is that i was quite pissed ! i picked up this guy, and neither of us could accommodate, so we found a dark corner [so to speak] for some mutual fun ...

it turned out that he was quite drunk as well ... and we had a really enjoyable time - taking the piss out of each other, and pleasuring each other at the same time ...

i don't quite know why, but it was just really good fun ... laughing is not something i normally associate with sex ... maybe i should try it more often ...

he even seemed keen to meet again ... and we have exchanged a few texts since ...

crooks and liars ...

so it had a been a few weeks since my last encounter ... and i'd had a couple of weeks of hanging out with too many heteros ... so i was looking for some fun ...

i was chatting to this guy on gaydar ... he was on the upper end of my age range ... but he seemed decent enough. i checked that his facepic was recent - he said it was 18 months old, and that he hadn't changed much since then ...

whilst most guys on gaydar lie about their age, i had previously had a great time with a guy who was just over 40, so i thought it was worth a go ...

i went over, and as soon as he opened his front door, realised that he had been economical with the truth ... he was quite grey, and looked a lot more than 18 months older than his pic ...

that might not have been too bad ... but once we got down to business [on his sofa in the living room], it was clear that he hadn't washed recently ! i don't think i'm that fussy, but not smelling is surely a basic requirement ?

well, got it over with as soon as possible ... and left in a hurry ...

how to pick up a guy in an art gallery ?

went to see Hogarth at the Tate ... there were so many gay guys there ... made me wonder, what the etiquette is for picking up a guy in an art gallery ???

later went to a classical music concert ... made eye contact with half a dozen guys within a minute of going for a piss !

so maybe i should give up using gaydar, and go to art galleries and classical music full time ...

just say no ...

in the past i have chatted to guys online, and when we met up, despite not really fancying the guy ... went along with it, either through obligation, or pressure ... and didn't feel good about myself afterwards ...

tonight i chatted to a guy, and when we met, he didn't really look like his pic - more overweight, greyer, and unshaven ... so i said no.

it feels good ...

first time in a steam room ...

this was the first gym that i'd been to with a steam room ... and so i thought i should check it out ... as i walked in, the 2 guys in there looked like they had been interrupted ...

soon after i sat down, a guy walked in - he was completed naked and had an enormous uncut dick ... think he was a bit surprised that the 3 of us had towels ...

he sat down beside me, so i was able to check him out a bit more ... and after a short time i went to get a cold shower ... and the guy chose the cubicle beside me ...

after some eyeing each other up ... we both got dressed and met outside ... and went to his place, which was closeby ... fantastic flat, especially after my previous experience !

it was my first experience of being with a guy who had seen so much of me beforehand ... which was quite liberating / relaxing ...

the guy was a bit older than i normally go for, but with such a gorgeous dick i thought he was worth trying ... and boy did he prove me right ... so expert at having fun - he really knew how to keep a guy happy ! and he seemed to enjoy himself too ...

it was all over a bit too soon - but i guess better short and sweet, than drag it out too much ...

not sure what it will be like when i bump into him in the gym again ... he's a nice bloke, but quite camp - i'd rather not be too obvious about it ...

the mostly english guy ...

after a couple of weeks without action [holidays etc.] ... i was about to logoff gaydar, when a guy contacted me ... his pic looked good, and he seemed like a decent enough guy ...

so i headed over straight away ...

he had said that his pics were recent, but on meeting him i had my doubts - he seemed to have put on quite a bit of weight, or else the pics were from a particularly good angle ...

he apologised for the state of his flat - it really was quite dirty and a complete mess ...

it had been a long time since i'd been in a single bed with another person ... but that wasn't the real problem ... somehow duvet covers didn't seem to be part of his requirements !

i've never quite understood guys who turn the lights off when with another person ... i've assumed that it's either that they don't like the sight of their own body, or the person that they're with ... not sure which it was [if either] in this case ...

anyway, we had some fun ... the guy was an expert rimmer ... and amusingly, when it came to the climax, the guy turned on the light to watch !

afterwards i sat back down on his bed ... and we chatted, for a good while ... he was a nice enough guy ... but he seemed a bit immature ... and a bit too camp for my liking ...

Inspiration ...

i'm not one to look at others and think they have the perfect relationship ... but occasionally ...

i was on holiday recently and in the same B&B were a gay couple ... they seemed like really decent guys ... and they went off snowboarding together each day ... and when the weather was crap, they stayed in bed having sex all day - not too loudly, but not quietly either !

they just seemed like a really nice guys, and a really good couple ... and it made me think what i might be missing out on, not having a partner ...

5th time with the same guy ...

i chat to this guy reasonably often on gaydar ... the last couple of times i have challenged him about something, and he has responded positively ...

i last met him over a month ago ... and we decide to meet again ...

i was a bit late arriving, and he seemed keen to get straight down to business ...

it was interesting that he seemed to have considered my questioning his lack of interest in kissing - he seemed to compensate by being more tactile ...

after some fun, we take a break ... and we start chatting ... we seem to chat more each time, and this time it is some fairly personal stuff ...

after some more fun ... we are chatting again, this time it's some reasonably heavy stuff ... eventually he signals it's time to leave ... i can't believe how late it is by the time i leave - we probably spent more time chatting than anything else ...

he's almost becoming a mate, with fun ... even though it's quite limited !