20 July 2018

risk appetite

some recent articles / documentaries about the spectacular success of PreP in reducing HIV infections made me consider gay men's appetite for risk ... and whether we (on average) have a higher risk appetite than straight men ... and why that might be ?

obviously there are plenty of exceptions (i'm very careful) ... but thinking about the average person ...

gay men have more sex that straight men ... so does familiarity breed contempt when it comes to safety ?

gay men don't have families to think about ... so are we prepared to take more risks because we have less to lose ?

once you've taken the risk of coming out (and the possibility that your family / friends might reject you) ... and survived ... does your risk threshold get recalibrated to a higher plane ?

Ronnie Kray is supposed to have complained that his fellow gangsters went soft after they got married and spent too much time (in his opinion) with women.  since gay men tend to spend more of their time with men ... does that lead to gay men having a higher risk appetite than men who spend time with women ?

PreP seems to work (as much as it does) because gay men take it regularly when they are not in sexual positions ... where as condom usage requires interruption in the heat of the moment, with the chance of losing a sexual encounter

which would suggest that in the cold light of day, maybe our risk appetite isn't that different to straight guys ?

but once we get put into a sexual situation (especially if drugs are involved) ... our appetite for risky encounters is higher than straight guys ?



Bruce said...

Anecdotally, that doesn’t quite jive with experience because of the many closeted men that haven’t come out, many of whom are married with kids, that I’ve been with. Could be, though, cause they’re still gay/bi. But then, having talked to many straight folks, they can be just as dirty and perverted as we are. Lol. I do sometimes wonder if in accepting our marginalized voices we have a propensity to honestly accept what turns us on and any fetishes we want to try, including barebacking, cum or risky behavior in general

close encounters said...

Thanks for the comment BC. I guess you could argue that guys who are married / have kids, and having gay sex, are by definition risk takers (risking their marriage / kids) !

as to whether we're more honest - i've heard people argue that once you've told your parents that you have anal sex ... telling your sexual partner what turns you on is a walk in the park !!